The $wiftest Pigeon

What is the sound of 1 million yuan flapping?

While most nouveau riche happily spend their new money on shit the old money has already deemed acceptable, China's spoiled young princelings aren't content with horses, sports cars, and insanely tacky watches alone. In tribute to the intrepid bootleggers who've propped up their country's market economy, China's rich have taken arguably the worst bird of all time, the pigeon, and slapped a Louis Vuitton logo on it. Racing pigeons are the new thoroughbreds here, with birds auctioned for hundreds of thousands of dollars apiece and races netting millions for the championship flock. Which sucks for the old timers, whose balcony-bred birds don't stand a chance against these million-dollar superflocks. And which just sucks in general because, well, pigeons. Fucking pigeons.